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This book takes the "Adult Children of" concept that originated in the secular addiction field and applies it to the dysfunctional Christian environment. It highlights the subtle Christian teachings that can force growing children to be dishonest with themselves and their feelings. Insights into how this takes place inside a person and suggestions for healing are offered. AUTHOR COMMENTS: In November of 1988, a historic event took place in Atlanta, Georgia. The First International Congress on Christian Counseling convened with over 1300 registrants representing the United States, Canada, Australia, South Africa, Switzerland, and other countries. It was an inspiring, energizing event as I experienced the excitement and the stimulation of ideas being expressed and exchanged. It also had an additional, significant effect on me.
Atlanta '88, as the congress was also called, offered a day of pre-congress institutes, and I organized a workshop entitled "Moving From Holiness To Wholeness: Treating Individuals From Dysfunctional Christian Backgrounds" which was attended by professionals from all over the United States and one person from South Africa. The workshop participants responded positively to the ideas presented, and I also tested the phrase of "Adult Children of Evangelicals" on them. Their enthusiastic encouragement was valuable support for my budding ideas. By listening to the professsionals in the workshop, I also realized that many of us had individually made the same discovery: many of the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) concepts also fit dysfunctional Christian families except the crossover breaks down when there is no alcohol involved. Although the ACA ideas were helpful, there was an incomplete fit between the two sets of dynamics. Nevertheless, we had begun to notice a syndrome of behavior that was peculiar to Adult Children of Evangelicals in a way that certain behaviors were peculiar to Adult Children of Alcoholics. This reinforced my developing notion of Adult Children of Evangelicals (ACE).
As the congress progressed, I listened, watched, talked, and tried to learn as much as I could about the issues that Christians and Christian counselors were facing. The air was filled with talk about dysfunctional homes, physical abuse, sexual abuse, co-dependence, drug abuse, and so on. The book tables were covered with books on these same topics. It gradually occurred to me that a modified version of the three alcoholic rules (Don't Talk, Don't Trust, and Don't Feel) could serve as a model for understanding the dysfunctional evangelical Christian home and the problems that Christian counselors were seeing in the lives of struggling Christians. As I was pondering all of this in Atlanta, the evangelical version of the three alcoholic rules and their unique ability to create an emotional split in people suddenly flashed in my mind.
I have used the alcoholic model of dysfunction as a jumping off point for the evangelical version of the three rules since many lay people as well as professional therapists are already familiar with the ACA concepts. The phrase, "Adult Children of. . ." has become a common term that is used to describe survivors of various dysfunctional family situations and experiences, and many evangelical homes have produced their share of survivors who are now "Adult Children of Evangelicals." The Adult Children of Evangelicals (ACE) syndrome as conceptualized here is broader than co-dependence, another current term. Although the dynamics that produce ACEs are fertile soil for co-dependent behaviors to develop, not all ACEs are going to be co-dependent. If you are not familiar with the ACA concepts and rules, enough material is provided to give you a basic idea of their meaning.
Before we go any further, let me also explain what I mean by Evangelical. Historically and theologically, the term has been used to describe Christians who emphasize the importance of personally embracing the Gospel. In spite of other theological differences, the emphasis on personal experience is the common denominator that has defined the evangelical identity. This traditional definition certainly applies to the concepts being discussed here.
Through the years of working with people from varied denominations, however, I have discovered that these ACE conflicts are not the exclusive property of evangelicals. Christians from denominations who resist the evangelical label also experience similar struggles and problems. In fact, any legalistic religious belief system that emphasizes control and personal stifling is going to create the climate for personal repression. Since there are also wide differences among congregations across the same denomination due to the pastor's emphasis or the community's local culture, some churches may or may not fit the qualities described in this book. The critical component that results in the problems under discussion here is the rule-based approach to the Christian life, and although I realize there are churches and groups of believers who do not emphasize this type of Christian system, there are many who do.
In light of this, I am using "Evangelical" loosely as a broad brush term to cover general Christendom and those who take the Bible's teachings seriously. This includes the major denominations as well as the independent churches, and the Calvinists as well as the Armenians and the Catholics. The term "Fundamental" is too restrictive since there are many Christians who do not identify with the Fundamentalist movement, but evidence the disorder under discussion here. Not everyone fits the historical evangelical definition, either, but it seems to be more adequate than other terms that are available.
It is my hope and prayer that this book will fill the niche that exists betwen the ACA concepts and the evangelical dysfunctional family as we all work together as Christians in striving toward the true holiness and wholeness that God intends for us.
- Sales Rank: #3086435 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Wolgemuth n Hyatt Pub
- Published on: 1990-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x 5.90" w x .80" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 261 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
"Dr. Sloat is forthright in giving insight and help to overcome the debilitating errors in understanding the Christian faith while thoroughly maintaining the value of the transforming power of Jesus Christ in our lives." -- Dr. Jay Kesler; President, Taylor University
"Holiness and Wholeness can go together. This is the message of grace. Donald Sloat has caught this eternal truth in a powerful way." -- H.Newton Maloney; Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, Graduate School of Psychology, Fuller Seminary
From the Back Cover
Many Christians really do face a set of problems that are unique to them. Many have grown up believing the myth that to be holy means you must be shiny clean on the outside even if you're miserably unhappy on the inside. Or that you must love everyone else--even if you hate yourself. Growing up with such scriptural distortions often creates tension and guilt that become a legacy passed from generation to generation.
Through a groundbreaking and insightful analysis, Dr. Donald Sloat explores the dynamics of the dysfunctional Christian home by using the Adult Children of Alcoholics model as a beginning point. This book introduces the evangelical version of the alcoholic home's three rules (Don't talk, Don't trust, and Don't feel) to explain the pressures facing survivors of dysfunctional Christian homes. These survivors are Adult Children of Evangelicals.
He describes how the myth of "holiness" results when control is emphasized over grace. Those who strive for this "holiness" are ubable to become whole persons because they experience an emotional split that lays the groundwork for depression, co-dependence, spiritual confusion, and family conflict.
There is understanding and hope for Adult Children of Evangelicals. One can become truly holy and whole by thoroughly dealing with the past and living under the grace that is freely given through the redemptive love of Christ.
About the Author
Dr. Donald E. Sloat grew up on a farm in rural northern Indiana where he attended a holiness church that had split from the Mennonites in 1880. After attending Goshen College and studying language for two years, he transfered to Bethel College in Mishawaka, Indiana. Feeling called into the Youth For Christ (YFC) ministry, he received a B.A. from Bethel in Biblical Literature with a minor in theology. He left Detroit YFC after four years as a Campus Life director to earn his M.A. in counseling at Michigan State University. Following his master's internship at Pine Rest Christian Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan, he was hired as a member of the psychology department. He also worked as a therapist at an adolescent mental health and drug abuse center before he began his doctoral program.
After earning his Ph.D. from the University of Southern Mississippi, he was the clinical director of an outpatient drug abuse program in Flint, Michigan, and started a private practice in Owosso, Michigan. Employment as a program supervisor and staff psychologist for Ottawa County Community Health in Holland, Michigan preceded his development of a private practice in Grand Rapids.
In his private practice, he works with adolescents and adults and specializing in helping Christians from dysfunctional backgrounds. At Forest View Psychiatric Hospital in Grand Rapids, he developed and conducted a Christian Care program that brought a spititual emphasis into the treatment for inpatients who were Christians. Currently, he provides individual therapy for patients at the hospital who are enrolled in Dr. Colin Ross' trauma program. In addition to being an author with two books and over fifteen published articles, he has taught personal development courses at local churches, developed multi-media programs, presented at national workshops, and consulted with businesses. He and his wife, Linda, have two daughters, Amanda and Molly.
He is a certified Performax consultant and is licensed as a psychologist in Arizona, California, and Michigan. His profesional affiliations include the American Psychological Association, American Association of Christian Counselors, the Christian Association For Psychological Studies, and the National Association for Christian Recovery.
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Gracefully Whole
By A Customer
I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with legalism and perfectionism. Dr. Sloat does a great job of defining the problems facing dysfunctional Christians and how they can develop, and also defining God's Grace, and what it really means. Helpful and insightful.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Growing up Holy
By Sheryl Israel
This book is excellent! I had already read Sloat's first book "The Dangers of Growing Up in a Christian Home" and learned SO much from it. When Amazon recommended Growing Up Holy and Wholly, I immediately ordered it. I recommend both of these books by Donald E. Sloat
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Insightful Book
By Amazon Customer
While I was not raised in an evangelical household as a child, I was raised in an extremely conservative Catholic household. Much of what the author discusses is also applicable in any "cult" like upbringing - where children are raised in a black and white bubble world.
The book has been very enlighting and helpful in understanding myself and how I was raised - and its influence on my life. I would highly recommend to anyone struggling with guilt and a rigid Christian upbringing.
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